Add odd topic for a girl preparing for a mission
I'm not entirely sure what I am writing, but I feel like writing.
This past week has been difficult, but great at the same time- do you ever have weeks like that?
I also have a lot on my mind, but i'm not really sure what it all consists of.
Finals. Homework. Spanish. Peru. Divergent. Country dancing. Runny noses. The gospel. Reading. Movies. Avatar: The last airbender. Marriage, oddly enough. Stinky feet. Letters. Music. Stepping into the dark, trusting it will all work out.
Lots of stuff.
Many times in my life I have found myself not really sure about what i'm doing. No, no. I don't mean that i'm always oblivious to what is going on and just 'going with it'. No, usually I feel like i'm working towards something I don't understand or something i'm not entirely aware of; like everything i'm doing is to prepare me for something that I will need to do in the future. If that makes sense.
Like getting married.
Isn't it weird to think that somewhere, floating out in the world, there is a person who could make you unexplainably happy and you might not even know who they are. I feel that as we grow we develop the idea of an 'ideal spouse', yet what if we don't know what we really need until it's right in front of us? I'm not saying that you shouldn't have high standards- you definitely should- but sometimes it's the things we don't expect that turn out the best.
Now i'm not married, nor am I close to being in that stage, so it's not like i'm writing from experience, but no matter how long we know someone marriage is a huge leap into the dark. People and relationships change over time and undoubtedly trials will come to stretch a marriage, but there has to be a point before you take that step when you know it's right (whether you take counsel from family, friends, or through your faith; personally, I wont take the step before counseling with God). There comes a point in any non-familial relationship where you either stay stagnant, press forward, or disband and eventually, for most people, at some point a relationship will move forward. Forward to creating a new life built by two halves, being a mishmash of the parties involved.
Its so illogical, yet it's right and good and it works out most of the time.
This is a rather odd topic for me, especially since I leave for my mission in 80 days, but I know once I do get home it will probably be on my mind a lot. I'm grateful to know that right now it isn't my time to get married. I'm grateful that I will be able to serve a mission and grow closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ; even if I wasn't serving a mission I would be grateful for the time to become the kind of wife I want to be. I'm grateful that my family has never pressured me to get married, but i'm also grateful that i've been taught the importance of a solid marriage. Most importantly, i'm grateful for the day I will be sealed to my husband for time and all eternity. The decisions we make now really do matter and though i'm not sure what is waiting for me in my life I know if I do my best now I will have great blessings waiting for me. Never be afraid to do something good or act on a prompting, you never know where simple acts will lead you. Oddly, though i've rarely said it, i'm excited to be married someday and I know I will be ready for the leap into the unknown when I meet the right man, the man I will need, the man that will need me, and the man that I will love (I felt the need to clarify that i'm not saying we'll both be needy or anything like that. We'll still be indecent, but we will also recognize how much better we are because we have each other. Hopefully that makes sense). Don't be afraid to leap, dear readers. If it is right, it will be the best leap you've ever taken. Like leaping into a pool of raspberry jell-o. I've never done that, but I think it would be great. Sticky, but kind of great.
With love,
Carolina
This past week has been difficult, but great at the same time- do you ever have weeks like that?
I also have a lot on my mind, but i'm not really sure what it all consists of.
Finals. Homework. Spanish. Peru. Divergent. Country dancing. Runny noses. The gospel. Reading. Movies. Avatar: The last airbender. Marriage, oddly enough. Stinky feet. Letters. Music. Stepping into the dark, trusting it will all work out.
Lots of stuff.
Many times in my life I have found myself not really sure about what i'm doing. No, no. I don't mean that i'm always oblivious to what is going on and just 'going with it'. No, usually I feel like i'm working towards something I don't understand or something i'm not entirely aware of; like everything i'm doing is to prepare me for something that I will need to do in the future. If that makes sense.
Like getting married.
Isn't it weird to think that somewhere, floating out in the world, there is a person who could make you unexplainably happy and you might not even know who they are. I feel that as we grow we develop the idea of an 'ideal spouse', yet what if we don't know what we really need until it's right in front of us? I'm not saying that you shouldn't have high standards- you definitely should- but sometimes it's the things we don't expect that turn out the best.
Now i'm not married, nor am I close to being in that stage, so it's not like i'm writing from experience, but no matter how long we know someone marriage is a huge leap into the dark. People and relationships change over time and undoubtedly trials will come to stretch a marriage, but there has to be a point before you take that step when you know it's right (whether you take counsel from family, friends, or through your faith; personally, I wont take the step before counseling with God). There comes a point in any non-familial relationship where you either stay stagnant, press forward, or disband and eventually, for most people, at some point a relationship will move forward. Forward to creating a new life built by two halves, being a mishmash of the parties involved.
Its so illogical, yet it's right and good and it works out most of the time.
This is a rather odd topic for me, especially since I leave for my mission in 80 days, but I know once I do get home it will probably be on my mind a lot. I'm grateful to know that right now it isn't my time to get married. I'm grateful that I will be able to serve a mission and grow closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ; even if I wasn't serving a mission I would be grateful for the time to become the kind of wife I want to be. I'm grateful that my family has never pressured me to get married, but i'm also grateful that i've been taught the importance of a solid marriage. Most importantly, i'm grateful for the day I will be sealed to my husband for time and all eternity. The decisions we make now really do matter and though i'm not sure what is waiting for me in my life I know if I do my best now I will have great blessings waiting for me. Never be afraid to do something good or act on a prompting, you never know where simple acts will lead you. Oddly, though i've rarely said it, i'm excited to be married someday and I know I will be ready for the leap into the unknown when I meet the right man, the man I will need, the man that will need me, and the man that I will love (I felt the need to clarify that i'm not saying we'll both be needy or anything like that. We'll still be indecent, but we will also recognize how much better we are because we have each other. Hopefully that makes sense). Don't be afraid to leap, dear readers. If it is right, it will be the best leap you've ever taken. Like leaping into a pool of raspberry jell-o. I've never done that, but I think it would be great. Sticky, but kind of great.
With love,
Carolina
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